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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Not Your Mama's Mac & Cheese!

Making Your Own Life More Creamier & Cheesier!


I made one of my favorite meals the other night.   It is, dare I say,  a rather ordinary if not iconic American meal.   It is also one of my Mom's weekly staples on the dinner table ever since I was a kid.   The meal is meatloaf with mac and cheese.    Now depending on what groceries my mom had depended on what the starch was that accompanied the meatloaf.   Usually it came down to a toss up between mac and cheese or her famous mashed taters and gravy.   Now my mom made good mac and cheese.   Sometimes it fell into the casserole category and sometimes it was just that good ole creamy ooey gooey kind.    Over the years I have used this meal making slight changes here and there.    You know you never can ever get it like mom used to make.   Down thru life you realize there are lots of big and little things you can't get exactly like mom or dad used to make or do.


Recently I fell victim to the economic crisis.   My job was eliminated due to the business closing.  Luckily I had been playing with the idea of returning to school to finish what I started ummm (clearing throat) almost 19 years...........uh, I mean several years ago! (wink wink)


The choice seemed kind of clear now given that all the other financial obstacles fell into some sort of semi-comfortable alignment.   


One night in a conversation with my Mom I realized by the hesitation in her voice and questions that she was not so sure a man of my age needed to really try and go to school at this point in his life.   


I realize my parent's lives being the baby boomers that they are to spite their young rebellious generation's reputation had really been more informed by their post war/post depression era parent's generation than perhaps they would like to admit.


I encountered this notion again upon a visit to the campus where I heard several times others referring to me as a "non-traditional" student.   It is a mental check in moment when you realize......."HOLY SHIT!.....I'm not in my twenties any more Toto!"   To spite the gray evidence peppered throughout my hair inside it is hard to really reconcile the number my age is with the age my mind still thinks it is.   


I begin to feel the waves of anxiety sweeping over my ocean of being overwhelmed.   Age wise I was going to be a minority.   Also in my social realm I was going to be a minority as well.   Though being "unemployed," seems to be the new job description for a lot of people the majority of those I know still continue down their own familiar path they have been traveling all along trying to find a close fit.


No matter what generation you are generally speaking Americans really are taught to follow one path: school, college, job, marriage, kids, house, etc.   Though that picture has been slowly changing the past twenty years it is still a recipe for living that most people try to follow.


It is not a bad recipe.   It sure is comforting.   There are moments when I just want to fly home and pull a chair up to mom's table and eat one of her meals.   Reality always sinks in and  I have had to accept that yes indeed I make mac and cheese differently from my mom as well as the meatloaf.   Same with my life path.   I am having to make a few adjustments in the recipe in order to perhaps get back on path.   Either way rather it is my mom's mac and cheese or mine the result is good sinful comfort food and rather I found a job I could stick to for 30 years tomorrow or instead go back to school then find a job that fits the path I see for myself the idea is still to pay the rent and put food on the table.   The secret to any of it is making it your own recipe for your life; no matter how you try it is not going to directly match that of your parent's nor your friends and I think that is a wonderful thing to celebrate.


The main difference between my Mom's mac and cheese and mine is the cheese.   She is a cheddar only kind of mac and cheese girl.   I use more cream and combine several cheeses that are not all cheddar.   My result is creamier and cheesier.   It is okay to have a creamier and cheesier mac and cheese as long as you can always go home and appreciate your mom's mac and cheese.   Your path's recipe may not be your mom's but don't forget the ingredients she shared and showed you along the way.   You many not take all of them with you and use them but remember it was those ingredients that gave you your first basic recipe.   

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010: Recipe for Change?

"Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed."  ~Cavett Robert


I have long since given up the idea of creating a "resolution," with the ushering in of a new year.  I have no problem in setting goals; but over the years have realized that new year resolutions are usually created in the heat of the moment.   It is easy to make a "pact," with yourself when kazoos are blowing and balloons are descending.   It is such an exciting idea that you have this one moment each year when you can sort of wipe the slate clean and start things anew.   This whole past week I was once again reminded of how the spirit of the New Year fever sweeps over everyone~ young and old.   It is no stretch of the imagination that "weight loss," was the overwhelming cry of change I heard for people anticipating the new year.   Maybe it is a symptom of being jaded that I roll my eyes when I over hear someone pronouncing that they are joining a gym after the New Year is rung in.   My inside voice loudly shouts: "WHATEVER!"   Maybe others don't think in terms of failure versus success when they pronounce these resolutions.   This is the number one reason I no longer think in terms of making sweeping changes in my life at the changing of the new year.   I realize it is a major setup for failure for me.   It is easier on my psyche to attempt some small form of change each day rather than to declare a major shift in my life dependent on the clinking of glasses and loud cheers against a back drop of Auld Lang Syne.


Change is a word that has reached a fever pitch in the last few years.   With the election of the first African American President in America~ change was not only a campaign promise but also a visible palpable tangible word when President Barack Obama became commander in chief.   The tides and constant changing boundary lines of the definition of "change," has been a constant debate the last two years.


I think the most lasting change comes after we learn a lesson.  If this is true and I believe it is then 2010 holds the mother lode of ingredients.   Now whether we will implement the lessons we learn is the difference in just speaking of change or making change happen.  The best change becomes an enduring foundation upon which the construction endures no matter how many storms and sweeping earthquakes of change rock it.


The jury is still out on 2010.   Can we learn from it?   Will the "teachable moments," we lived through in 2010 become catalysts for change and evolution in 2011 and beyond?   Fifteen million unemployed, BP Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, mid-term elections, and many more events rocked 2010.   2010 is not any more different than many of the years that have passed before it; it is just that it is the most current that is passing to make room for 2011.   If we remain in the past  obsessing on all that was wrong or right about 2010 then change will be lost; however if we just toss 2010 away without taking stock of all that happened then we risk forfeiting an opportunity for lasting change as well.


For me one of the most enjoyable rushes I get from cooking is seeing how you can add your own embellishments and build upon recipes.   Add a pinch of this or take away this seasoning, add an extra egg, cook for 5 minutes less, bake at 350 instead of 400.   Cooking is about change; building on that recipe that has been handed down through generations, each generation adding their own subtle or perhaps large change.


2010 held many ingredients.   Some of them were palatable and some of them unsavory.   The challenge for 2011 is to turn these ingredients into recipe for something positive & tasty.  

Sunday, November 21, 2010

........And All That Stuffing

     It is easy for me and I suspect many Americans to romanticize this time of year.   Thanksgiving usually is the big kick off to all the colors, sounds, smells, bells, whistles & all the trappings of the holiday season.   As images of Haiti's continuing downward spiral now expedited by the Cholera epidemic it may take a special strain of a "PollyAnna" complex to see things in a more positive upbeat light.   Speaking for myself it seems almost pompous to sit in my warm home and regale about all my many blessings this year; especially when in our own country the growing number of people on public assistance and unemployment is still growing.   However I will endeavor to share even just a shred of something positive.

In the middle of this old world's chaos there is always one small shred of light through any darkness.   Whether it be the irrepressible spirit of those trapped Chilean miners or some small town family who invites those without family or those whom cannot afford food to their Thanksgiving table, the triumph of the human spirit on a global level or that little snippet of human kindness is all a piece of the bigger picture.  

If Thanksgiving was just about the bird itself then it would not carry much weight (pun intended); but thank God for all the potatoes, yams, casseroles, gravy, rolls, dressing, pie and stuffing.   I believe sometimes in life you have to look at all of life's "stuffing," (chaos) and find that small or large little savory rich detail that makes you smile, makes your heart warm, makes you realize how blessed you are.   I look at the sadness and tragedy in Haiti and feel very humbled.   I am thankful that I recognize that it could be any of us.   There are those who might say it could never be in the United States of America; but then I remember just a few years back when Katrina hit and it was very evident that even in the good ole USA there can be third world poverty, disease, destruction and despair.   As the old saying goes, "there but for the grace of God."   It isn't about the sum of all the bad things that happen in life I believe it is about finding the small miracles and stunning blessings that happen or exist in each event.  

One of my favorite Broadway musical show tunes is "All that Jazz," from Chicago.   One of the lines in the last verse goes: "Ohhhh I love my life and all that jazz."  It isn't just about the main event or star attraction its all the jazz or sides and gravy that count too.  Well it doesn't just happen at Thanksgiving; but I believe since it is the season it bares saying.... I love my life and all that stuffing.   I hope you find all the sumptuous sides and stuffing in your life and you find the humbleness that brings you the joy of being grateful.   Happy Thanksgiving~ Love The Southern Fried Diva!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sweet Potato Pie (Trumping Post Mid-term Election Stress Syndrome)

     Each Season has its change.   Change can be calculated in subtleties and sometimes in broad brush strokes.  It is hard for me to chose a favorite season.  I am a summer baby being born square on the summer solstice so when Summer rolls around I embrace all the smells of fresh vegetables, cut grass and sun baked mid morning dew.   As a child Spring was such a big event because I became so amazed by these little crocuses that came up through late snows under mama's hydrangea bush.   As a kid Spring also signaled that summer break from school was within sniffing distance.   Winter was magic because of snow, ice, and howling winds.   But since we are in the middle of Autumn we'll stick to that season.   Some things I love about Autumn are the crisp cool air, the leaves, the sound of rustling leaves & then the holiday season that gets kicked off by the campy fun candy laden haunting night of Halloween.   I love the colors of deep reds, golds, and all the shades of brown.   Autumn is also the season of winding down.   Harvesting what you've sown all year and preparing for what winter's long if not unpredictable cold and sometimes barren months might bring.  

No matter what corporate America has done to Thanksgiving and Christmas commercially; to me they are important punctuation marks on the calendar.   Thanksgiving has its own special meaning with the smells of food, gathering of family and for me the Macy's day parade.   The Macy's day parade for me is the official sounding shot kicking off Christmas.   Christmas has been and always will be simply defined as magic.  It is the one time of the year my childhood comes flooding back in a hazy Hallmark Currier & Ives glow.

The idea of "seasons," is a metaphor for change in life.   My hometown of Hendersonville, North Carolina is known as the land of four seasons.   Every season has its own smells, beauty, darkness, lightness, drama and simple joys.   In 2008 a "season of change," was upon the land as Obama fever swept across the nation and world.   For some the change is not happening, for some it is happening but too slowly.   As of Tuesday November 2nd, 2010 the mid-term elections heralded yet another season of change for our country.   By Wednesday I felt an overwhelming flood of discouragement and in that moment I knew I had to change my own impending season of doom lurking above my soul and spirit.    So I went to the kitchen and bake I did.
The house filled with smells of my Granny Pop's sweet potato pie recipe in the oven.   My Diva-Licious Brownies the next day filled the house with wafts of chocolate and toffee.

It would be so easy this morning to sit down and write a blog full of negative feelings about the Tuesday election results.   I could be responding to all the crazy political spin in the air this morning on the  Sunday morning news show.   Let's face it the country has been reeling for several years now.   I will not bury my head in the sand like the proverbial Ostrich.   I recognize what is going on, I have to call it for what it is but I cannot let it dictate my spirit.   So I chose to Sweet Potato Pie it right now.

One of my favorite fun reads is The Sweet Potato Queens 1st Big Ass Novel by Jill Conner Browne which I will be breaking it out this week to give myself a chuckle and get myself in the mood to bake my signature Sweet Potato pies for the upcoming holiday events.    Whether you are a liberal or a conservative I urge ya to go check out or buy a copy of the The Sweet Potato Queens 1st Big Ass Novel and just let all this political bullshit and tough economical times leave your spirit.   It is okay to laugh, in fact I think it is essential to laugh. It does not cost anything to smile or laugh or both.   It just takes a moment of switching off that little "negative nelly," button in your brain and choosing to find even the smallest things in life pleasurable.   For me, today, it means turning off the TV full of negative news, turning on some favorite tunes and baking a sweet potato pie.   The smell will bring back precious memories for me of my Granny Pops baking this delicious treat for Thanksgiving.   Having a slice tonight with a cup of coffee will be a little slice of heaven of its own; but on Thanksgiving watching friends and family smile as I cut into the Sweet Potato Pie and watch them loosen their belt buckles in anticipation will out trump any bad election news and briefly chase away the economical dark cloud above our heads.   Life is too short my friends so have a slice of pie, read a fun silly book, step outside and smell the Autumn air.   Enjoy life~ bake Sweet Potato Pie!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Witch's Brew

America sure has one hell of a smelly steaming toxic cauldron a brewing!   This election has bubbled nothing but toil and trouble.   Some of it is classic Halloween camp, think of Christine O'Donnell's political ad claiming in that eerie serial killer voice, "I'm not a witch."   She was dressed in black with a smoky black background and speaking in that weird tone all that was lacking was a gnarled leaf-less tree with a screeching bat flying across a big ominous orange harvest moon.   The latest spending report according to CBS news puts this year's mid-term election costing upwards of 3 billions dollars..... that looks like $3,000,000,000!   Which to me looks like Count Dracula moving in for a little midnight snack!   Ironically I am not scared by who might be elected into office this year as much as I am scared that in such a shaky economy we sit idly by why 3 billion dollars gets sucked into some big black vortex.   The scariest about any of this is the empty words that both sides utter.   No one has a game plan except how to win a bull shit election.   No one has a recipe for getting things done.   Politicians on both sides of the aisle are sucking the life blood out of democracy.   If Sylvia Browne or Dionne Warwick's psychic friends connections could hold a séance and bring the spirits of our founding fathers forth for a round table congressional butt kicking it sure would be helpful right about now.   As the 2010 election comes to its climax on Tuesday I believe it will go down less like a tea party and more like a Tim Burton version of the Salem Witch Trials.   Unfortunately this year looks more like a trick than it does a treat.  Finding a shred of dignity and democracy this election year was like bobbing for poison apples.   All I'm saying is don't drink the Witch's brew this year!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

American Pie: A Killer Filling!

     I love a slice of pie.   I believe my Granny Pop's homemade pies hold a special place in heaven.   A warm slice of her blackberry pie in the winter made from blackberries we picked together in the summer and frozen or put up in her unbeatable preserves was my favorite pie piping hot out of the oven.   Her rhubarb strawberry pie in the summer was my favorite pie to eat cold.   In fact I've not really ever met a slice of pie I didn't like or least could cover with ice cream and trudge on through.  However I believe a slice of the metaphorical American Pie has too much filling and quite honestly has no taste.
     The flood of political campaign ads for the mid-term elections this past year has reached an intolerable fever pitch.   On both sides of the political fence and right down the middle of the political landscape  I am ashamed of every political figure head we the people have supposedly put in office.   During a time of our country's shaky economical foundation in which millions remain unemployed and foreclosures across the land threaten to break the back of the American dream of home ownership these political ads are costing millions and millions of dollars.   I find it sickening that everyone of these ads spin out of control exaggerating facts and bemoaning the out of control spending of congress and the government at large however spending millions right in front of our faces for TV airtime, robo-calls, mailers, etc.   It is not only insane but stands as a slap across every hard working American's face that hopes they can pay the rent or mortgage and put food on the table.   All these millions and millions of dollars flushing down the proverbial toilet to put people in office who continue a cycle of saying much but delivering little.   Yes, it has been this way for a long time; but honey darlings the American Pie has been stuffed plum full of toxic energy and poisonous greed.   The pie burst open a long time ago and the filling has oozed out over our common sense.   The so called "tea partier's," have this big smug idealistic trumpet sounding that they are wanting change however they too have joined the masses in the mud spending millions.   When do we simply unite and stand in front of Congress and our government; Republicans, Democrats and every thing in between and say "Enough, we forbid you to spend any more money on elections, you raise that money and pay off the national debt!"
    I know it is easier said than done; but I am firing the warning shot today if anyone is listening.   We have already begun swallowing the poison slices of pie.   The so called middle class is being swept under the rug daily.   Wake up America, it's time to throw out the pie we've been mindlessly stuffing ourselves with and start from scratch baking a new one.   It is the season to demand WORK, not words from our elected officials.  If we want to get this recipe right we are going to have to go back to the blackberry patch and weather the sun, heat, snakes, and thorns to get to the ripest and juiciest fruit.   As the old cliche goes, "don't throw good money after bad," and as my Granny Pops always said, "you ain't gonna get a good pie with store bought berries, ya have to go pick 'em in order to do up a good pie!"   Start baking with fresh ingredients America, the store bought stuff is killing us.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Popcorn~ Just Add Hot Air

That good ole snack food standby popcorn is amazing if you think about it.   It is a relatively cheap snack that feed many with very little effort.   I mean if you break it down it is just a little kernel of corn with a lot of hot air which turns to a puffy white buttery goodness.  I think the analogy can be made to pop music.   Although we know that "pop" music is short for popular music, I tend to think of what has become popular music today more closely related to pop corn.   It is palatable hot air with maybe a kernel of musicality.  The lyrics and chord changes are predictable and usually the "talent," behind the song is not vocally strong.

I would like to take it a step deeper and coin a new phrase known as "Pop Politics."   Pop politics is a bunch of hot air surrounding skewed little kernels of fact that can be puffed into provocative sound bytes.   It fits our current culture to a tee though.   We as a society have a bad case of short attention span, we need our politics boiled down to quick buzz words and shorter details of the fact.   This "need," of ours to have our information handed to us on a silver platter as quick as a Google search has created the perfect environment for these pop politicians to pop up and thrive.

Pop Politicians such as Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, etc. are full of puffed up sound bytes delivered with sometimes corny theatrics rich in recycled rhetoric but short on vetted deeply researched facts.   They chose a "popular," stance and stick with it unyielding to any idea of going beyond the headline and studying all the facts on both sides.  Pop politicians worry more about their image than getting any real work or results.  They are talking heads with eyes set on their own ego led ambitions rather than protecting constitutional ethics or accomplishing any concrete good that takes into account many opinions other than their own nor embracing any fruitful debate.  They are uninformed half vetted talking heads who settle for easy popular sound bytes over any notion of going against the grain out of worry of scraping their own fragile yet glossy slick image.


Pop politicians embrace pop politico speak using loaded words to attach their character to like "maverick," or "rogue," although they never back up these claims with any real recognition of what those words mean nor offering an noticeable action to give these words any real meat.


Pop politics and their participants are just puffed up little kernels with lots of hot air to spare.