Not Your Mama's Mac & Cheese!

Making Your Own Life More Creamier & Cheesier!


I made one of my favorite meals the other night.   It is, dare I say,  a rather ordinary if not iconic American meal.   It is also one of my Mom's weekly staples on the dinner table ever since I was a kid.   The meal is meatloaf with mac and cheese.    Now depending on what groceries my mom had depended on what the starch was that accompanied the meatloaf.   Usually it came down to a toss up between mac and cheese or her famous mashed taters and gravy.   Now my mom made good mac and cheese.   Sometimes it fell into the casserole category and sometimes it was just that good ole creamy ooey gooey kind.    Over the years I have used this meal making slight changes here and there.    You know you never can ever get it like mom used to make.   Down thru life you realize there are lots of big and little things you can't get exactly like mom or dad used to make or do.


Recently I fell victim to the economic crisis.   My job was eliminated due to the business closing.  Luckily I had been playing with the idea of returning to school to finish what I started ummm (clearing throat) almost 19 years...........uh, I mean several years ago! (wink wink)


The choice seemed kind of clear now given that all the other financial obstacles fell into some sort of semi-comfortable alignment.   


One night in a conversation with my Mom I realized by the hesitation in her voice and questions that she was not so sure a man of my age needed to really try and go to school at this point in his life.   


I realize my parent's lives being the baby boomers that they are to spite their young rebellious generation's reputation had really been more informed by their post war/post depression era parent's generation than perhaps they would like to admit.


I encountered this notion again upon a visit to the campus where I heard several times others referring to me as a "non-traditional" student.   It is a mental check in moment when you realize......."HOLY SHIT!.....I'm not in my twenties any more Toto!"   To spite the gray evidence peppered throughout my hair inside it is hard to really reconcile the number my age is with the age my mind still thinks it is.   


I begin to feel the waves of anxiety sweeping over my ocean of being overwhelmed.   Age wise I was going to be a minority.   Also in my social realm I was going to be a minority as well.   Though being "unemployed," seems to be the new job description for a lot of people the majority of those I know still continue down their own familiar path they have been traveling all along trying to find a close fit.


No matter what generation you are generally speaking Americans really are taught to follow one path: school, college, job, marriage, kids, house, etc.   Though that picture has been slowly changing the past twenty years it is still a recipe for living that most people try to follow.


It is not a bad recipe.   It sure is comforting.   There are moments when I just want to fly home and pull a chair up to mom's table and eat one of her meals.   Reality always sinks in and  I have had to accept that yes indeed I make mac and cheese differently from my mom as well as the meatloaf.   Same with my life path.   I am having to make a few adjustments in the recipe in order to perhaps get back on path.   Either way rather it is my mom's mac and cheese or mine the result is good sinful comfort food and rather I found a job I could stick to for 30 years tomorrow or instead go back to school then find a job that fits the path I see for myself the idea is still to pay the rent and put food on the table.   The secret to any of it is making it your own recipe for your life; no matter how you try it is not going to directly match that of your parent's nor your friends and I think that is a wonderful thing to celebrate.


The main difference between my Mom's mac and cheese and mine is the cheese.   She is a cheddar only kind of mac and cheese girl.   I use more cream and combine several cheeses that are not all cheddar.   My result is creamier and cheesier.   It is okay to have a creamier and cheesier mac and cheese as long as you can always go home and appreciate your mom's mac and cheese.   Your path's recipe may not be your mom's but don't forget the ingredients she shared and showed you along the way.   You many not take all of them with you and use them but remember it was those ingredients that gave you your first basic recipe.